The dance ended well, with both of us yawning and grinning and periodically kissing for no reason at all. It seemed like the incident in the janitor's closet had slipped her mind. Of course, I knew she hadn't forgotten, but it seemed like a good sign that she didn't want to dwell on it.
A few times that night, I had an itching feeling that I was going to regret putting my phone on silent. But honestly, I was tired of being at James' beck and call. I could only take so many calls before 'oh, it's my teacher, um, no, he doesn't want to talk to you,' stopped seeming like a good excuse.
Amanda drove me home in her dad's red car, and we kissed one more time before I hopped out. Just afterward she opened her mouth like she was going to say something hard, then bit her lip and said only,
"Bye, Matt."
I pretended I hadn't noticed her slip.
"Bye, Amanda. Love 'ya."
"Bye, Matt."
I pretended I hadn't noticed her slip.
"Bye, Amanda. Love 'ya."
Just outside my door, I stopped and checked my phone. Twelve voice messages glared up at me.
I frowned as my thumb hovered over my screen. Should I play back the messages, or just call him? How much time did I have? My mom had said she'd wait up for me, but she hadn't heard up pull up, or else she would've answered the door.
I checked the times on the messages. The most recent was two minutes ago.
I turned my back to my house and, for the first time I could remember, I called him.
As I waited for him to pick up and stared emptily across the street, my mind wandered to a common worry of mine; how was I going to help James' team when Summer came? I'd been taking their calls for years now, but until recently he only needed help every two or three months. Now, it was almost every week, sometimes twice a week. He'd never said why, but I could guess.
Every mission was essentially the same: get to the location, fight the monsters, and get through the portal. I could find locations from coordinates in my sleep, and I knew everything there was to know about every monster we'd ever found. But I had no idea what happened after that. I'd gotten them into a hundred portals, but I knew nothing about what happened inside. All I knew was that somehow, they stopped the flow of monsters and got the coordinates for the next portal.
At first, I bluntly asked James several times what was past the portal. It was a sort of game we'd play, back when the whole thing seemed like a game. 'The next portal is in Texas, middle of nowhere. Speaking of which, what's past the portal?' 'Texas, huh? Always wanted to go there.' That sort of thing.
But now the speed of their missions had multiplied, and it obviously had something to do with what was in the portal. I resolved that I had to ask, one more time, what was in there.
He picked up.
"Matt? What the hell, man?"
I pulled up short. I had been so busy working up courage, I'd forgotten to feel guilty.
"Sorry, dude, I just-"
"You just what?" He demanded. I'd never heard him so worked up before. "What could you possibly be doing in your stupid life that is more important than Dale?"
I was silent for a long time.
"You had better be there. If you hung up- again- I will fly over there and wring your fat neck."
"I'm here," I said, rubbing my forehead.
I don't know why I said what I did next. I knew it would lead to problems. But I felt that it had to be mentioned.
"You don't even know where I live."
"What do you mean?" he asked, still angry, but now baffled as well. "I lived there for, like, most my life. I'm not an idiot, Matt. No matter what you think."
"I don't think you're an idiot," I lied. "And we moved."
Silence. No, not silence. Heavy breathing, static, and outside the phone, footsteps from inside the house.
Without thinking much, I walked around the corner of the house, leaning on the siding where my mom couldn't see me if she opened the door. It was a lot darker over here.
As the almost-silence stretched out, I felt the distance between us as I'd never felt it before. Not only was he on the other side of the country, but in many ways, our lives were alien to each other. He didn't know where I was, but I had a GPS tracker on him. There was something profound there, but I didn't care to think what it could be.
James broke my contemplation.
"You moved? When- wait, no, this is stupid. Did you listen to my messages, at least?"
"Not yet," I admitted.
"Well... We lost Dale."
I pressed my lips together. Guilt washed over me. If I hadn't been so selfish, if I had done better... Now Dale might be dead.
But I had trouble imagining myself simply brushing off Amanda, turning her away. That would make her curious, and if she found out... Well, I wasn't sure what the consequences were, but every time in the past when I'd suggested they go to the police, James had insisted their powers be kept a secret.
I frowned as my thumb hovered over my screen. Should I play back the messages, or just call him? How much time did I have? My mom had said she'd wait up for me, but she hadn't heard up pull up, or else she would've answered the door.
I checked the times on the messages. The most recent was two minutes ago.
I turned my back to my house and, for the first time I could remember, I called him.
As I waited for him to pick up and stared emptily across the street, my mind wandered to a common worry of mine; how was I going to help James' team when Summer came? I'd been taking their calls for years now, but until recently he only needed help every two or three months. Now, it was almost every week, sometimes twice a week. He'd never said why, but I could guess.
Every mission was essentially the same: get to the location, fight the monsters, and get through the portal. I could find locations from coordinates in my sleep, and I knew everything there was to know about every monster we'd ever found. But I had no idea what happened after that. I'd gotten them into a hundred portals, but I knew nothing about what happened inside. All I knew was that somehow, they stopped the flow of monsters and got the coordinates for the next portal.
At first, I bluntly asked James several times what was past the portal. It was a sort of game we'd play, back when the whole thing seemed like a game. 'The next portal is in Texas, middle of nowhere. Speaking of which, what's past the portal?' 'Texas, huh? Always wanted to go there.' That sort of thing.
But now the speed of their missions had multiplied, and it obviously had something to do with what was in the portal. I resolved that I had to ask, one more time, what was in there.
He picked up.
"Matt? What the hell, man?"
I pulled up short. I had been so busy working up courage, I'd forgotten to feel guilty.
"Sorry, dude, I just-"
"You just what?" He demanded. I'd never heard him so worked up before. "What could you possibly be doing in your stupid life that is more important than Dale?"
I was silent for a long time.
"You had better be there. If you hung up- again- I will fly over there and wring your fat neck."
"I'm here," I said, rubbing my forehead.
I don't know why I said what I did next. I knew it would lead to problems. But I felt that it had to be mentioned.
"You don't even know where I live."
"What do you mean?" he asked, still angry, but now baffled as well. "I lived there for, like, most my life. I'm not an idiot, Matt. No matter what you think."
"I don't think you're an idiot," I lied. "And we moved."
Silence. No, not silence. Heavy breathing, static, and outside the phone, footsteps from inside the house.
Without thinking much, I walked around the corner of the house, leaning on the siding where my mom couldn't see me if she opened the door. It was a lot darker over here.
As the almost-silence stretched out, I felt the distance between us as I'd never felt it before. Not only was he on the other side of the country, but in many ways, our lives were alien to each other. He didn't know where I was, but I had a GPS tracker on him. There was something profound there, but I didn't care to think what it could be.
James broke my contemplation.
"You moved? When- wait, no, this is stupid. Did you listen to my messages, at least?"
"Not yet," I admitted.
"Well... We lost Dale."
I pressed my lips together. Guilt washed over me. If I hadn't been so selfish, if I had done better... Now Dale might be dead.
But I had trouble imagining myself simply brushing off Amanda, turning her away. That would make her curious, and if she found out... Well, I wasn't sure what the consequences were, but every time in the past when I'd suggested they go to the police, James had insisted their powers be kept a secret.
"Did you hear me?"
"Yeah, I heard you. I'm just thinking."
"Think faster."
I saw a light fall across the sidewalk that indicated the door was being opened.
"Matt, honey? That you?"
Crap. Not again.
I lowered my head and crept towards the backyard. I knew that latch on the gate was too high, so I could reach over and let myself in. Our backyard stretched into a huge, unkempt field. I could get away that way.
I tried to think of a good question to ask James, to show I was still listening.
"Yeah, I heard you. I'm just thinking."
"Think faster."
I saw a light fall across the sidewalk that indicated the door was being opened.
"Matt, honey? That you?"
Crap. Not again.
I lowered my head and crept towards the backyard. I knew that latch on the gate was too high, so I could reach over and let myself in. Our backyard stretched into a huge, unkempt field. I could get away that way.
I tried to think of a good question to ask James, to show I was still listening.
"Have the monsters stopped yet?" I whispered.
"Yeah, but what's left of them are still milling around in the cave. I've gone down there a few times, alone."
"Where's Mal? Where are you staying?"
"A coffee shop. That's where we're at right now. Mal's at the counter buying food with the last of our money."
The implications were serious. Most missions were in-and-out. James would fly Mal in, while Dale followed in bird form. They would deal with the portal, then move on to the next location. They'd eat McDonalds and sleep wherever they could. I knew it was hard, and that was just another reason I felt bad for still being jealous.
As for money... James and Mal graduated last year, and Dale dropped out just before the missions got a lot more frequent. As far as I know, all three of them had money saved up for after school, but James had a football scholarship, Mal's parents were going to help with college, and Dale was planning on joining the army, or some such vague plan.
Bottom line being, none of them had a lot of money saved up to take with them. But... what was different this time? Why were they at a coffee shop, and not some more run-down, cheap establishment?
When I asked such, his voice dripped with venom.
"We needed the wi-fi to look up rescue techniques."
That stung. Usually, they'd call me for any information they needed. If I didn't know, I'd look it up for them. I'd left, and so they'd replaced me.
But it still didn't make complete sense. After all, couldn't they sit in the coffee shop and still buy food someplace else? Maybe, I figured, they were tired of living on the run, just like I was tired of having my life constantly interrupted by their calls.
"Okay. So, is there anything I can do to help now?"
"Well... what the heck was that green thing?"
I'd almost forgotten about that. What was it? I could go get the laptop out and examine it tomorrow. Finally, a problem that was easy to fix.
"I'll get back to you on that."
I was silent for a moment. I realized my mom had gone back inside.
"And, James, I'm, uh... I'm sorry."
"It's okay."
I felt ridiculously relieved.
There was a small click as James hung up.
"Yeah, but what's left of them are still milling around in the cave. I've gone down there a few times, alone."
"Where's Mal? Where are you staying?"
"A coffee shop. That's where we're at right now. Mal's at the counter buying food with the last of our money."
The implications were serious. Most missions were in-and-out. James would fly Mal in, while Dale followed in bird form. They would deal with the portal, then move on to the next location. They'd eat McDonalds and sleep wherever they could. I knew it was hard, and that was just another reason I felt bad for still being jealous.
As for money... James and Mal graduated last year, and Dale dropped out just before the missions got a lot more frequent. As far as I know, all three of them had money saved up for after school, but James had a football scholarship, Mal's parents were going to help with college, and Dale was planning on joining the army, or some such vague plan.
Bottom line being, none of them had a lot of money saved up to take with them. But... what was different this time? Why were they at a coffee shop, and not some more run-down, cheap establishment?
When I asked such, his voice dripped with venom.
"We needed the wi-fi to look up rescue techniques."
That stung. Usually, they'd call me for any information they needed. If I didn't know, I'd look it up for them. I'd left, and so they'd replaced me.
But it still didn't make complete sense. After all, couldn't they sit in the coffee shop and still buy food someplace else? Maybe, I figured, they were tired of living on the run, just like I was tired of having my life constantly interrupted by their calls.
"Okay. So, is there anything I can do to help now?"
"Well... what the heck was that green thing?"
I'd almost forgotten about that. What was it? I could go get the laptop out and examine it tomorrow. Finally, a problem that was easy to fix.
"I'll get back to you on that."
I was silent for a moment. I realized my mom had gone back inside.
"And, James, I'm, uh... I'm sorry."
"It's okay."
I felt ridiculously relieved.
There was a small click as James hung up.