I Did This For A Dialog Contest Entry

"Hey, what's up?"
"Nothing much- oh, hey, she's looking at a contest."
"What kind of contest?"
"An 'awesome dialog contest'."
"Oh no... you do realize how she'll interpret that, don't you?"
"Yeah. All dialog. No narrative."
 "This should be fun..."
 "Quack!"
"James, did you just say 'quack'?"
"No, that's a duck. Must have wandered in from the pond out back."
"OH MY GOSH IT'S A DUCK!"
"Okay, who was that?"
"My sister. She's in a duck fase."
"Qua-hisss!" 
"Let me guess. Your sister just tried to hug the duck."
"Right."
"Hey, how come you know what's going on, huh?"
"'Cause I'm the Main Character, so I've got access to the narrative. Duh."
"If you don't get off my lawn you hologans, I'm calling the cops!"
"Since when do you have an elderly neighbor?"
"Oh, that's just my dad's old tape, 'Old Men, the best of'."
"Ding-a-ling-a-ling!"
"Music box?"
"Close; ice cream truck."
 "Oh, I hate those." 
"BOOM!"
"Ahh! Was that a bomb?"
"No, stupid, that was a 'boom' box."
"You've brought a bag full of gold through Southbridge?"
"Well, not exactly. This is where you come in."
"I was sure I had a purpose here."
"This is henna and indigo, to dye your hair."
"Save some dances for me, your Highness."
"Okay, I'm lost."
"My best bet is she just opened up a random book and pulled out the dialog."
"Can she do that?"
"Apparently." 
"Quack!"
"Guys, this is weird. I just walked in your room to tell you dinners ready, and now we're, like, stuck in onomonopia land."
"................................................................................................."
"What was that?"
"She found another book, but it's a dictionary. No plot, no characters, no talking."
"BOOM!"
"Curse you, 'boom' box!"
"No, that one was actually a bomb."
"Oh. No wonder I just lost a limb. OWWWWWW!"
"Why, back in my day, our phones came out of the wall!"
 "The monkey thought it was all in fun! POP! Goes the weasel!"
"Those stupid ice cream trucks. SO annoying."
"I wonder how long she can keep this silliness up?"
"Quack-quackquack-QUACK, quack-quack."
"Not much longer. Look, she's reaching for the 'post reply' button.
"Thank Goodness! I would kill for a he said/she said."
"Wait, I don't think it's over yet. She needs one more sound effect..."
"CABOSH! WAP! RAT-TAT-TAT!"
"Or three more, as the case may be."